ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she pinky promised me she was 18
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
