It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
