hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
