take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
