it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
