I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
