Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
