Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
