its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
