I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
