if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
