i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
