Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
