But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
