mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
