I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and she was petting her beer can
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
