you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
