I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
