Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
