Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
