he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
