I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol â¤â¤ also dont tell anyone
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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