Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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