you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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