"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
