yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
