We need to rekindle our bromance
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
