it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
