I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
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