I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
