what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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