I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
