i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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