She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
