Your dad touched me again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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