He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
