I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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