He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize