I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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