you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
