so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
