Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
