In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
