Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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