Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
