i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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