Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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