Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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