You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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