So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
