Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
