You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
