I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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