Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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