honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i've created a new STD.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
