i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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