I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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