All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
